Dudes and Chicks: Testosterone and Estrogen

What does a spider and mold have in common? Scientifically nothing, as far as I am aware. Emotionally, a great deal according to the husband. Upon his request I was asked to help come up with solutions to this problem, after the venting and raging about the issue. He informed me that I need to think less like a girl (in regards to me getting emotional and extreme with my labeling him as over compulsive and wack-o) and more like a guy by helping him think logically and find a solution to the one spider problem and the shower mold. After offering a suggestion there was a moment of silence in which I could take my shower and contemplate further on what just happened. I took his challenge and thought like a guy. I said to myself, "I am a dude. What would a dude think about all this?" What follows may or may not be a real dude solution but according to a chick, this is what a dude would think.

"Dude, I am dude! I need dude time! Living in a house with 3 females and all this estrogen is really affecting me. I need to stop being so extreme about all the stuff I think is a big problem and stop freaking out over everything. I need to stop nagging, isn't that the woman's job anyway? I am hormonal and emotional and take everything as a personal attack. I need to go hunting or fishing or bowling or grunt at something. I need to do something truly manly and dude-ish."

So, after thinking like a dude I went to the husband and said, "I did what you told me to do. I thought like a man and if I were a man I would need dude time."

Husband's response: "Are you rejecting me?" (Again, isn't that something a woman would ask?)

So, I went back to the bathroom to complete my nightly ritual and all of the sudden something hit me. Something I should have seen a long time ago. Something my husband has been trying to get me to understand for almost a decade.

I put myself in the shoes of a women whose husband is frequently gone doing "dude stuff". I would nag him about being gone too much and I would nag him about liking his guys better than his girls. I would nag, nag, nag. I thought, "I do not want that!" I went to my sweet husband and I first apologized and then and I thanked him for loving me and finding me to be his one true friend. He has told me many times he doesn't need guy friends when he has me. As a female who needs female friends because my husband cannot fill that need, I felt extremely guilty.

My husband having dude time is not going to solve anything. Especially my attitude. I assumed his ranting and raving about the spider, mold, and whatever else he conjures up before he goes to bed, is because he is unhappy with me. I need to trust that he is happy with me. I need to be understanding of where he comes from as the man of a house. He sees problems left and right and wants to "fix" everything. The part that causes him to be so frustrated is that he is tired all the time and always too busy to do anything about "fixing" anything. I love him. I love that he cares so much.

What I need to do is stop the emotional response every time he gets upset about something. Not everything is my fault, so I need to stop reacting as if he is blaming me for everything. When in all reality he is upset at himself.

Question for the dudes:

How do I support him with his "problem", minus all my estrogen?