A Prophet

I am in deep contemplation, even to the point of wondering whether or not to even attempt to write about the subject occupying my thoughts. I received word this evening of the passing of this great man, a prophet of God. He was the leader of my church for as many years as I can remember. He is the only prophet I ever really knew, and now that he has returned to the presence of our Father, I am heart broken, for not having known him better. For not having listened more and paid closer attention to his teachings. I have his biography, I have read an eighth of it, it has sat on my self for 5 years. I am saddened at the lack of effort I put forth in understanding what he wanted me to have a testimony of. I never had the privilege of meeting this great man, but I loved him none the less.


He visited Palmyra New York during my mission. He spoke to all of the missionaries at a special conference. The night before the conference, for the first time in my life, I prayed and asked if President Hinckley was a true prophet of God. I had never prayed to know that before, I just figured it was true. All morning before the conference I thought on my prayer and did my best to remain open to receiving an answer. When it came time to hear President Hinckley speak I again said a silent prayer to know for myself with out doubt if he was truly called of God. And about half way through his talk I knew. I cannot explain for lack of vocabulary and the nature of the experience to be kept special to me. I know with out doubt that he was a prophet of God. And a great prophet at that. I respect, honor, and adore President Hinckley. He lived 97 years, honorably and faithfully. He was married over 70 years to his sweet wife who passed away a few years back. That is something I hope to one day be able to say, "I have been married to my sweet heart for 70 years".


I will miss his humor, I will miss his testimony and the spirit he brought to meetings. I will miss him. I know he has returned to live all eternity beside his wife. I know that he has returned to live with our Savior Jesus Christ and Father in Heaven. I know that death is all part of that great plan, but it still does not make it any easier when a loved one passes away. I remember when I learned of President Hinckley's wife's passing. My heart was aching for him. Every year he lived with out her, my heart ached for him and his loneliness. And now, he has been reunited with her. That makes me happy. But sad, for selfish reasons. I had grown attached to him, I thought he would live forever. I thought I would be blessed with his words for a lot longer. And now, I will finish that book, his biography. Now I will reread his talks and life lessons. Now, I will look forward to learning from the next prophet. I know that whom ever is called to fulfill the calling of Prophet will in fact be called of God. He will be the Father's chosen leader here on this earth. I will honor and sustain him just as I have President Hinckley.


Good Bye President Hinckley, until we meet again.

Christmas

I am finally getting around to writing about Christmas. I got to spend Christmas eve at home enjoying the evening with my family. We enjoyed our usual traditions. This year we had Christmas dinner for Christmas eve. We read the Christmas story from Luke 2 using cute puppets I made a few years back, reread last years promises/gifts for 2007 and wrote new ones for 2008 (these are spiritual promises/gifts to Jesus), the girls opened their Christmas PJ's, and then Kevin and I spent the night wrapping presents.

Of course on Christmas morning the girls were up super early examining the tree and the contents underneath. They were so cute. Kevin and I could hear them whispering and giggling. Within minutes they were pouncing us telling us Santa had come and we needed to get up and go see. Before we open presents we discuss the true meaning of Christmas again to reiterate the importance of this holiday.

For years I had an issue with "Santa" and wasn't sure how I felt about celebrating that portion of this holiday. I have decided this year that I am OK with it. Santa is one of those magical childhood traditions that I didn't want to take away from my girls. I will be OK with it as long as they always know why we really celebrate Christmas. We have taught them well and they understand that Jesus gave us the greatest gifts of all, forgiveness and eternal life, and that we in return serve and give to others we love and those in need. This year we each chose a person off of a giving tree to get a gift for. The girls really enjoyed that. We all wanted to do more, but with our circumstances we did what we could.

We spent the morning eating goodies and enjoying each other's company before I had to go to work. The next morning I was leaving super early to get on the plane to go see my family. We were very blessed this Christmas. It was a very enjoyable day. Oh, we also decided to do something different this year. We chose names and whoever name we chose we had to make that person a special homemade gift. We all really enjoyed that. We each had to think a little harder about what the other person might enjoy and also put a lot more love into it. Kevin drew my name, he made me Christmas eve dinner; I didn't have to do a single thing, it was beautiful!

I drew Emily's name, I made her a picture frame to put on her dresser.
Emily drew Lydia's name, she made her a little doll bed out of an old pillow's stuffing, a box, and an old sheet that we cut up and sewed a pillow, the "mattress" and a little blanket. It was really cute. Emily was excited about learning to sew. Lydia drew Kevin's name, she said, "Dad loves chocolate, let's make him some chocolate", so we made his some awesome chocolate coconut truffles! YUMMY! We all enjoyed that part of Christmas and decided it will be a new family tradition.

My Trip

As I had previously mentioned I had the privilege of returning to my hometown of Webb City Missouri for a family reunion with my siblings and parents. It had been 4 years since all the kids were in the same place at the same time. All the grand kids were present with the exception of my children who remained with Kevin at home. I would have loved for my family to be in attendance with me, due to a financial crunch they remained behind. My kids would have loved to meet their cousins and aunts and uncles. It would have been a lot of fun. Though I missed my husband and children being there I also very much enjoyed being there single. I was Aunt Sue again and could relax and play and visit rather than fuss over my family. I also had a lot of time to myself at various airports due to horribly long lay overs. I read A Tale of Two Cities (a revised version that I sell on my website) and started A Wind in the Door by Madeleine L'Engle (which I have since finished). So, you can imagine how long the lay overs actually were.

The trip had its good, bad, and ugly moments. Good moments obviously consisted of spending time with my family. I love them all, quirks and all. They wouldn't be family with out the quirks. It had been so long since I had seen them all. I had forgotten how much kids really do grow up in the absence of their Aunt Sue. I was so over joyed to see them all. I was needless to say a bit surprised at how much they had all grown. I didn't even recognize 95 percent of them, so upon my being re-introduced to them all I'd reply with a "Holy Cow!" or "Who is that!?" or something along those lines, and followed it with a squeeze. I did have a sibling who found it necessary for the first words out of their mouth upon seeing me for the first time in 4 years to be mocking words at my surprise toward each niece or nephew. But, that is my sibling, that is this person's way of saying "Gee Sis, it has been so long, I have missed you, how are you?" OK, that is what I am telling myself anyway, it takes the edge off! I was in such heaven at seeing my family again!

The bad and ugly were just typical "life" moments. Moments that should not be swept under a rug just because company is over. Life goes on even at family gatherings. There were moments of deep reflection for me. On my past life, present life, and even on my future. I was reminded that if it were not for my parents living in that cruddy little town I would never return. Seriously, who in their right mind looks forward to returning down a memory lane that has no good to offer. I have grown passed all that "wallowing" and I have moved on. I don't want that garbage in my memory any more. I thought I had thrown out the garbage but returning to that town only reminded me of the stench that was apparently lingering. I really just wanted to move my parents away from there so that I could see them more regularly without having to experience that "smell" again.

Anyway, I was there for 4 days and I enjoyed it. Like with all vacations I wish I could have had another one upon my return back home, just to recover from the late nights, no sleep, early mornings, constant activity, and long flights/layovers. I had to work the day I got back and it was a rough week following my trip, so recovery took longer than I would have liked. I had frequent dizzy spells and was quite dehydrated. But, don't worry, I am better now! I am sure you were really worried about me!

Now, upon finishing this whine fest I would like to conclude with this...families can be together forever. That is a gift that is available to all who seek it. I seek after that gift. I love my family...Mom, Dad, Misti, Michael, David, Cassandra, Cathryn, and Nanette and all their children and spouses. I love my sweet husband and daughters. I love my husbands family as though I have spent my whole life with them. I want to be with each and every one of these people for all eternity...quirks and all.

Resolving

Here it is half way into January and I am finally deciding to think about the coming year. This past Sunday I heard a talk that inspired me. I always think in my mind things I want to do, accomplish, or overcome. But very rarely do I actually write them down. And what does that mean? It doesn't happen! So, this year I resolve to write things down, things I want to do, accomplish, or overcome. I will start here. Yes, right here on my public blog. Then maybe, just maybe, one of my faithful readers will feel so inspired to send me a note and ask how I'm doing at my list of things to resolve.

1.Read Jesus the Christ by James E Talmage. I have wanted to read this book for years. I have tried just as many times to read it. But I never was as determined to know Christ in a more personal way than I am now. I'm on chapter 2. I know, how pathetic. But seriously, this book is so deep and Talmage's vocabulary is beyond my knowledge; I have to use a dictionary and reread each paragraph at least twice.

2.Read more good books. Enlightening, entertaining, encouraging, enslaving (if you have read Harry Potter then you know what I mean by that). I have found my favorite books to read are young novels for ages 9-12. That might sound odd for such an oldie as myself (hahaha) but I truly enjoy a good story that doesn't have a lot of garbage added, and this is the perfect age to get that. I also enjoy the classics for the same age group. Thus far my favorite is Roald Dahl, but am looking forward to gaining new loves.

3.Laugh, live, and love more.

4.Worry less, stress less, freak out less.

Well, I think that will keep me rather busy this year. Hope that my resolutions are inspiring in the manner that mine motivate you to make and keep your own.

Wishing you all a Happy New Year...keep resolving!

Perfection

The game of perfection, a classic. I grew up playing the game, I too wanted my daughters to have the experience of playing the game of perfection. The anticipation of the POP is worth the trouble of racing the clock to get all the shapes in the correct spot.

Last night while trying to fall asleep I was, sadly, thinking about the game and came up with something I found rather fascinating and want to share that with you.

So, visualize with me...I want you to sit on the floor with your Perfection game. Good, now flip the switch to stop, turn the timer, push down the table top, gather all your pieces together, take a deep breath, and now, flip the switch. The sound of the timer is tick, tick, ticking, and your heart is beat, beat, beating. You are racing to try and fit the square in the crazy thing that should be a square, the star in the other star that has less starry points, and then there is always that one piece that just doesn't seem to have a home. You have 5 seconds and that board is going to POP any second and you will inevitably jump at the sound of all the pieces being thrown up in force from the board's spring being released. You have 2 pieces left and no matter which way you turn the piece it just doesn't seem to fit in either of the spaces left. And before you figure out the problem, POP, game over.

Am I the only one who has ever thought how much this game parallels life? Yesterday I played the game with my girls, and maybe that was what provoked my thinking. But while playing I noticed that neither of my daughters were able to complete the puzzle on their own in the allotted time. Even I just barely got the last piece in place just before the darn board popped. But when we all worked together we accomplished the goal, whether I was physically placing pieces or just pointing out their home. Sometimes in life we have a partner or a team (family) to help us to accomplish our goal of getting life's puzzle pieces into their proper places. And sometimes we are on our own, no one to back us up, no one to show us where to put the pieces. Sometimes we are playing the game with a few pieces at a time and other times it seems we have 2 games worth of pieces to put into one puzzle. The feelings of anxiety and fear of that inevitable POP, are far more extreme in the real life game of perfection than in the toy. I heard one of my daughters suggesting that they turn the switch off so they could put all the pieces in without it popping them all back out before they finished. Wouldn't it be great to have an on/off switch in real life. Yeah! Your boss gives you a major project to be done in the next 24 hours, FLIP! the switch is turned off and you get the job done before the POP! Your kids are all running around you going crazy, the kitchen seems to have exploded, laundry needs washing, FLIP the switch and everyone and everything stops except you and now you can get things in order before the POP! To have a on/off switch for whatever phase of life you are going through would be the coolest thing ever. If I had one wish I'd wish for an on/off switch.

But, apparently flipping the switch on the board game is not following rules, and very sadly and true, life does not have a switch to be flipped. But in real life, even during those times when you feel so utterly alone, you are never really alone. There is ALWAYS someone there beside you whispering "this piece goes here". That someone could be a quote from an inspiring book, a scripture, a family member, a trusted friend, a spiritual leader, and most definitely and always, our Father in Heaven.

I have found that in my life more often than not, I have 2 sets of pieces to fit into one game board. I realize I am the one who mixed the pieces all together and never sorted them out, but still I have 2 sets and I just can't seem to get any of the pieces where they need to go. Could it be because I am too much of a perfectionist and feel a need for every thing in my life to be such and if not then POP! all the pieces I had in their right places are thrown out and I have to start all over again? Oh how I have wished for that switch, that I might stop time and "cheat", if you will, by getting all my pieces on the board with no worries of the POP. That would of course be the easy way. What would I be learning if I played the game and never set the timer? What would I learn in life if I had no timer to put all my pieces in their proper place?

So, back to my original statement at the beginning, it too applies in life. The anticipation of the POP is worth all the trouble of racing the clock to get all the shapes in the correct spot.

One Word

AUGH! That is all I have to say about the holidays at this time. Ask me again in a week, by then I'll have myself back together again, hopefully. So, until next week...AUGH!