It's Raining

It's raining; it's pouring.
The old man is snoring.
He bumped his head as he went to bed,
And couldn't get up in the morning.

Ah, such wonderful nursery rhymes we tell our children! Another version of this rhyme mentions the old man covering his head. When it is raining I too like to just curl up, cover my head, and never get out of bed; no, not even in the morning!
Figuratively speaking, it's raining; it's pouring...in my life. And once again, all I want to do is go to bed, cover my head, and NOT get up in the morning. I want to just sleep away the rain.

I know that when storms come in our lives there truly is an end. And when the storm ends there is sunshine! And what magnificent sunshine there will be! There are rainbows, birds singing, puddles to jump in, and that wonderful fresh and clean scent! Ah, I love a good storm.

I do not care so much for those life storms as much as I do nature, but I do look forward to those end results of the storm. Life seems brighter, cleaner, fresher, more fun and enjoyable; just like jumping in puddles and looking at rainbows.

So, WAKE UP, GET OUT OF BED! Face this storm prepared; with an umbrella, rubber boots, and a bucket; just in case it floods.

A big thank you to FreeFoto.com for the beautiful photos.

V-DAY

Ah, the dreaded Valentine's Day. I would have to say this is my absolute least favorite holiday of all. Yes, even being married I still dislike this day. I think so much of my dislike comes from deep, buried pain. I personally think that this holiday should only be meant for adults and kept outside work and kept from involving others around you. Have you seen the valentine's day episode of The Office? Need I say more about why it shouldn't be in the work place, school, or anywhere for that matter. At school it was a competition, at work, COMPETITION! So what about those of us who don't get valentines? And then there are all the dances or balls and if you don't get asked you're left with that humiliation for the rest of your school days. Did I hear you ask me if I have an issue with valentine's day? OF COURSE!

So, this year I decided to stop being the Grinch of Valentine's day, the Scrooge of all scrooges. I actually spent the .50 cents per candy gram and sent 3 to my daughter, one from each member of our little family. I began thinking about why I detest this holiday and decided I NEVER want my daughters to feel the same way. I want them to know they are loved, Valentine's Day and every day of the year. Does giving them little treats and cards and having tangle proof handed to them in their classroom prove my love? Of course not. But it does make one feel special to be remembered. I want to instill in them confidence and a lack of worry about the valentine day competition that they will inevitably face in their teenage years.

I enjoy the giving of love. It makes me feel good. If only I had understood that as a kid. I think the more one gives their love the more they receive love. I was a hog, a suck. I wanted all the love given to me without me having to give any thing first. Only when I learned this valuable lesson have I truly felt love. With my new outlook I should have a better attitude with valentine's day. And that is my goal. But at the same time I still cannot seem to get passed all the commercialization of holidays. I have that same overwhelming, dreary feeling come over me that I have to compete with someone or something. Will my daughter pass out the coolest, favorite cards? Will I give my husband the mushier or funnier card (this year I went with funny)? Augh, why must we torture ourselves over such trivial things?

Oh, in regards to those feelings of being the only child without a valentine I spoke to the school about allowing parents the opportunity to send a candy gram to a child who may not get one at all. I really wanted to save atleast one child's heart from breaking this year. The secretary explained to me that she had the same idea and she has already tallied who was getting grams and was figuring out who was not on the list and she and another lady in the office were personally sending one to each child. I asked her if I could contribute, she said it was already taken care of. I was so thrilled to hear that these sweet ladies were so thoughtful of each and every child. They were literally taking that "no child left behind" thing above and beyond. They did express gratitude for my sentiments and would take my idea into consideration for next year. I hope they do.

Oooo! I have an idea for my daughter! She has about 6 extra valentines. I am going to challenge her to give them to a child at lunch or on the play ground who is alone or who seems sad. I can't wait to hear from her tomorrow and how her day went!

Heart Broken

I made a new friend. He is 16 months old. The sweetest guest in the hotel! He has been with us for 2 nights. I met him yesterday. It was love at first sight. Ever since I met him all he wants to do is come to me. He literally tries to climb over the counter, out of his mother's arms and come to me. He sees me from at the end of the hall and tries running to me with his arms in the air like a little chimp. When I saw him for the first time today I was leaving the office and they were walking by. He put his arms up for me to hold him, I picked him up and he gave me the sweetest hug. He didn't even budge, he just held me and didn't let go. I had to pull him away and hand him to his Mom. He still reached out for me even while she walked away. The mother, obviously very young, said to me, "he doesn't usually do that". My heart breaks every time he looks at me and reaches for me. This look in his eyes seems to say, "please save me". I think of him and I get a knot in my throat. I could seriously cry right now thinking of him.

This small boy, what does his future hold? He has a mother who is a single teenage parent. A great grandma who yells at him and tells him he is a bad boy when he dumped rice all over the hotel room (took me 15 minutes to vacuum it all up) while she was supposed to be babysitting so the Mom and Aunt could go "out". This sweet boy has a Grandma and Grandpa who are both locked up for substance abuse. How do I know all this? They talk too much. It is obvious to me that in the brief moments I have spent with this child he has felt more love and more safety and security with me than he does with his own family. That breaks my heart. It truly does. When I finished vacuuming I looked at the child, smiled and waved goodbye, he looked up at me with his big brown eyes and reached for me one last time as his grandmother pulled him away.

Winter Wonderland

This morning we woke to fresh snow and a whole lot of fog. There was kind of an erie, strange feeling in the air. Walking back from taking Emily to school Lydia and I engaged in a snow ball fight that really ended up being more of a tossing snow in the general direction of each other due to the snow being very dry and fluffy. I began walking ahead of her and enjoyed the odd silence in the air. Just as I was beginning to think we were in some kind of bubble blocking out all outside noise over my head I heard a distant honk. And then another honk, only closer than the previous. The honking became closer and louder. I searched the skies hoping to see the flock causing the honking, but to my disappointment the fog was too thick. But as I listened and looked closer I realized there was no flock. A single Canadian Goose flew over head in the fog, lost and alone. I heard his call in hopes of finding his flock. I never saw him. I was sad for this lost goose. I imagined that if by chance geese have feelings, this goose was scared and lonely. I thought of myself. When I am lost in "fog" and I call out for my "flock" to direct me to a safe location, will someone answer me? Will I be heard?

One more thought before signing out for the night...

It was a crisp and chilly morning. A brand new layer of snow covered the already frozen ground. The sky was clear, the breeze minimal. I was alone that morning, enjoying a nice, quiet walk back from the elementary school where I had completed another successful morning of volunteer work. There is a small wooden bridge that crosses a frozen snow filled creek. Just as my foot touched the snow covered wood I heard the sound of an echoing and familiar crunch of snow and ice. I stop, close my eyes, take a slow, deep breath in through my frozen nose. The air was so fresh and clean. A gentle breeze gave me a chilling kiss on my numb face. I was immediately taken back to my youth on days such as this. I found myself lying in deep snow that I hoped I could get lost in. As a child I would stay out in the snow until I couldn't even feel the cold anymore from sheer numbness. I'd bury myself in the snow just as one might bury themselves in sand on a warm beach. I would lay there looking up into the wintery sky and go to another world. My world. I opened my eyes and found myself back on the small wooden bridge that crosses a frozen snow filled creek leading back to my small home. I took one last deep cleansing breath and one last look at my winter wonderland and continued putting one foot in front of the other, all the way back home.

This photo was taken this morning. All the large amounts of snow we had when I wrote these two experiences has now begun to melt very rapidly. Previously there was snow covering even the trees. It looked like a snow globe outside.