Monsters and Light Switches

When teaching my girls about life and emotions I try to think up ways of explaining those things in a way that they might understand. Just 10 minutes ago I came up with a rather good one that must be shared.

At times I feel as though my blood is boiling and I am going to explode at any moment. Well, that is how I feel, but children don't understand boiling very well and hopefully don't know what exploding means. So, rather than continuing to be short fused and agitated and continuing to hurt my sweet girls' feelings with my negative energy I sat them down and very animatedly, because that is me...animated, I explained to them that I feel as though there are a million little monsters running through my veins screaming and yelling and these little monsters make me feel like running around screaming and yelling and want to tear something up. Their eyes got wide with fear! I explained to them that I do not want to do that, that I do not want to be angry, so I needed them to first take their own extreme energy levels down and to also take a nap.

So, that is the picture, now I'll explain why I have all these little monsters in my veins. Emily, sweet hearted and sensitive, has been whining and crying over everything and untypically disrespectful toward me with her words and attitude. Lydia, the head strong independent extreme physical energy type, has been running, bouncing, tackling, etc. To top things off I was babysitting a little girl who is a combination of Emily and Lydia but half the size so that makes her 10 times more extreme. We also had fun plans for the afternoon which got canceled, not on our part, and all of us were upset over this. I told the girls I needed them to go to their rooms for a nap until Dad came home with the car and rescued us from the confines of apartment living.

Ahhhh. I feel so much better.

Another, oh I don't know what you'd call it, "thing" I use to tell my children about hard to understand topics is in regards to emotions as well.

As I previously mentioned, Lydia is my child whose emotions are all extreme, anger to happiness. So, one day I sat her down, near a light switch. I explained to her some of the different feelings we have. She too contributed in this part. I explained that there is a time to have certain feelings and there is a time to not have certain feelings. That we are in control of those feelings, and that we should stay in control at all times. I showed her how I physically go to the light and can turn the light on and off. I let her try a couple times. Then I said, "our feelings are like this light switch, it is your choice whether to turn the light on or off. When you feel angry, turn off the anger, and turn on the happy." We talked about ways to turn off the anger, like a time out, a quiet time, a hug, etc.

Since this talk with Lydia I have rarely had to remind her. She has grown so much in controlling those negative feelings. I am so relieved to see that she is gaining control a lot sooner than I ever did. Shoot, I am still working at controlling my own personal switch. I think that is what provoked the whole discussion. I noticed how much Lydia is like me and I didn't want her to be like me in a negative way. I want to be a better person for her/them.