Lessons from Emma

My current read is Emma by Jane Austin. When I told my husband that I was learning new things about myself while reading the book he laughed. He has started a new thing by giving me a hard time for reading fiction. "You and your FICTION", he says to me. I reply with, "You and your TEXT books. You are just JEALOUS".

As readers of Jane Austin know, her books speak a great deal of society and what is proper. If I lived during those times I would have been a vulgar, unrefined, and shunned woman. My least favorite character in the book is not a major character, practically a side note. But this character has none the less effected me in a huge way. I have had let's say, a huge awakening!

This character rambles endlessly barely without even taking a breath. She changes topic without even finishing the previous topic or sentence for that matter. She speaks way too quickly and loudly and gives no thought for other people's thoughts or their ears for that matter. While reading the pages where this woman speaks I just cringe. I almost want to skip those pages, but fearing I miss some important detail to the plot of the story I continue on painfully. But of course I never would have missed anything of importance had I skipped her ramblings.

This is exactly why I learned a great deal of myself from this story, in particular this wretched woman! I have realized that over my 30 years of being able to actually form words and have them come out of my mouth I have developed 4 bad habits.

I feel I have developed the first 2 by growing up in a big family where I was number 6 of 7 kids and if I ever wanted (still applies today) to say anything at all I would have to speak quickly and loudly.

Bad Habit #1...Speaking too quickly
Bad Habit #2...Speaking too loudly

And then once I left home and no longer had to compete to get a word in I learned that people actually don't always have something to say, so there was silence, and seeing a good opportunity to say what I wanted, I snatched it right up.

Bad Habit #3...Talking excessively

Now my final bad habit in communication was the biggest shocker of them all. This one actually applies in my marriage. It has been the key source to all miscommunication, lack of communication, and everything involved with communication.

Bad Habit #4...My word is NOT the final word

"Holy Cow! You mean my thoughts and feelings are NOT all that matter???"
I actually have to laugh at myself over this one. I realized that just last night and I almost had one of those moments where you stop dead in your tracks and with gaping mouth and wide eyes say, "I suck!" (objectionable or inadequate (Webster's dict).

So, with all this new found knowledge about my BAD HABITS in communication I hope that I can now apply my new goals of improving in my communication and no longer be what high society would find as vulgar and disgraceful. Come to think of it I don't think just "high society" would find me that way. Hmm.

Here's to being wise.