I have new goals. Goals of being better. How? I don't know. I'm still figuring that out. The list is endless...better pianist, better at guitar practice, better photographer, better wife, better mother, better writer... Is that too much? They say you should never bite off more than you can chew. I'm not really biting or chewing, right now I am just preparing the menu.
I work with the youth at my church and I was visiting with one of the 17 year old girls. I told her how I had always wanted to be a photographer for national geographic, she asked why I hadn't done it yet, my response, "I am chicken". She chuckled and said it wasn't too late. I always figured I was too late for all my "dreams".
So, this conversation along with many other such moments over the past week has given me a new attitude. I haven't ever really known what I wanted, let alone how to get what I wanted. I did know for a fact, without doubt, a short list of things I wanted and would not give up on, that short list has been accomplished, now what do I do? That list includes a mission for my church, marriage to an amazing man, be a mother. CHECK! On top of all this itch, as some people might call it, I am getting older...is 32 too old to be a dreamer? I want to do something, be someone! I just don't know where to start. I suppose the answer would be...Today.
So, this whole thought process also caused me to reflect on the things that I am grateful for. I find myself getting caught up too often in the past and what I haven't done and probably never will, that I neglect to see the BOUNTEOUS blessings right in front of me.
An Attitude of Gratitude I feel at this time. I am grateful for the mind I have been given, the love to learn. I am grateful for the love of music I have within me. I am grateful for the gift of having an eye for beauty. I am grateful for a husband who loves me more than my wildest dreams. I am grateful for daughters who are incredibly talented and have chosen me to be their biggest fan.
I have a question for you and would love more than anything to have your comments.
What do you want to do when you grow up? I figure if you are anything like me you haven't grown up yet. I wonder at times if I ever will. We'll see.
5 comments:
I have loved reading your thoughts! You have deep thinking going on here! To answer your question, I think I would like to be a better mom, and work harder to be the person my Heavenly Father needs me to be. I think I will have succeeded if I can say I have done all that He wants me to do!
I have loved reading your thoughts! You have deep thinking going on here! To answer your question, I think I would like to be a better mom, and work harder to be the person my Heavenly Father needs me to be. I think I will have succeeded if I can say I have done all that He wants me to do!
I am not sure how that posted twice, but I guess that is kinda funny!
So good to hear from you Carrie! You are a good example to me and I think you're doing a great job! I don't know if my opinion really matters though.
I didn't know until recently that you were so into photography. Isn't it odd that we grew up in the same house and I didn't know that about you. Mom encouraged me a lot to pursue my desire to do freelance photography (preferably nature and such). I even looked into it, but honestly don't recall what I learned about it. You do have to travel alot (or should I say "get to"). I have said it to you before--- your thoughts remind me ALOT of Aaron Reed. I didn't realize how parallel they were until she was gone. Maybe you could find some insight through her words that are still on "reedsinmo@blogspot". It is nice to see you express peace about where you are in life RIGHT NOW. May you continue on that path of goodness you are striving for.
Oh, and to also answer that question you asked--- I think that if I could just make it through each day knowing that I was the best mom/wife/self I could possibly be, then I would be at peace. Don't get me wrong, my wish list of "to-do's" is long, but all I remember REALLY wanting as a young woman was to be a wonderful mother and wife, and to learn to love myself. I feel like I can check that off my list most days.
Thanks for causing me to think a little deeper.
Cassandra
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