What do I lack?

As I have mentioned, I have been reading Jesus the Christ by James E Talmage. He discusses in chapter 27 the story found in Matthew 19:16-26; Mark 10:17-27; and Luke 18:18-30. This is the story of the young rich man who approaches Jesus and first tells Jesus everything he is doing correctly and then asks, "what lack I yet". He was obviously a good man, faithful and obedient, and He believed in Jesus. But when Jesus said, "one thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me", the young man was sad at the thought of leaving behind his great wealth and possessions. Talmage says that "everyone of us may pertinently ask, What do I lack?"

I have been deep in thought since reading this section of the book over 4 days ago. I believe Christ has asked all of us to do this; to ponder on the way we live our lives and come to him and ask where we are lacking in our devotion to Him. What a difficult thing to do. I find myself more like the young man than I ever imagined I could be. I literally came up with a list of things to strip myself of and every single one would be difficult to rid my life of. Why? Probably for the same reasons the young man found it difficult. I have become attached to such worldly possessions and "entertainments" and some of them have such a hold on my heart that I think it would be too painful to part with them. Of course all of these things are trivial and certainly will not assist me in entering the kingdom of God. So, why am I not more willing to swiftly rid my life of such unnecessary weight. Why not exercise more self control and relieve myself of such heavy burdens that weigh upon my soul.

I look around me and see distractions and clutter everywhere. Things that will not pass with me into the next life. I rationalize and wonder are we really required to give up everything! Things that bring enjoyment and pleasure in this life? But I also thing that the lesson to be learned goes deeper than just possessions. Am I serving Him with all my heart, might, mind, and strength? Am I living my life to its fullest potential? Even yet, do I hide my talents under a bushel and show them not unto the world? So the question at hand, what do I lack, is so overwhelming to me. Where do I even begin?

I heard an analogy once about a camel. In order for a camel to enter through the eye of the city he would have to be completely stripped down and then crawl through. The labor involved is probably extensive. I imagine the old days when a camel would be weighed down with tents, food, and other provisions. The work it would take for the traveler to remove everything from off of his camel just to enter the safety offered on the other side of the walls. I will add further to the analogy with this, imagine the traveler packed all of his Cd's, DVDs, scrapbooks, collectibles, and treasures, onto the back of the camel, along with all the necessary things such as food and water. The weight that the camel would have to carry, and unnecessary weight, would be hard to bare. If the camel did ever make it to the safety of the city he would be too tired to even crawl through the eye once he was stripped down.

What do I lack? The courage to do whatever is necessary to free myself of all unnecessary baggage. I am ashamed. My list of things keeping me from entering the "eye of the city" is long, it is heavy, and it is nothing compared to the peace and safety that awaits if I strip myself of all ungodliness and follow Christ.