Romance

What does romance or romantic mean? The subject of romance was on my mind recently and it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, I have a false or naive, and too girlish of an idea of what it actually means. Here is what I found...

Webster's Eleventh Edition: romance - 1. medieval tale based on legend, chivalric love and adventure, or the supernatural 2. a prose narrative treating imaginary characters involved in heroic, adventurous, or mysterious events 3. a love story in the form of a novel 4. to try to influence by lavishing personal attention, gifts, or flattery.

Those definitions are exactly what I expected romance to be, and it has often made me sad that I don't have that kind of "romance" in my life. Kevin and I recently watched a particular romantic comedy, these are our favorites, and for some odd reason Kevin was in no mood to watch it necessarily with me. We are a rather cuddly couple and enjoy snuggling up to a good movie. But this night in particular, for reasons unknown to me, he refused to sit any where near me. He sat clear on the opposite side of the couch and pouted most of the movie, he even got up and left right before the ending. This was so unusual that I began wondering if it was me. Did I stink? Were my legs too hairy? Was the room too hot to sit close to me? Seriously, these would all be reasonable explanations, but this was not the case that evening.

So, upon finishing this adorable romantic comedy by myself I found myself in deep thought. And none of the thoughts were good. Don't get me wrong, I love my relationship with my husband. But I found myself wondering why I didn't have the romance in my life that is so often reflected in movies. Come on ladies, don't be shy, I know I am not alone in thinking such things. I have always enjoyed romantic movies and novels, not the gross stuff! Sweet love stories like Anne of Green Gables and Little Women and I finally read Pride and Prejudice. All amazing stories where the men all seem to fall over the women and shower them with the most unimaginable flattery! And probably the most recent movie that knocks my socks off in regards to romance is the Notebook. The ending in particular, as badly as I want to ruin it for someone who doesn't know what I am talking about I will not, is enough to make me cry for hours even after the movie has ended! So, I am a pathetic, hopeless romantic.

Now, knowing this great weakness of mine, let me explain the process of my thoughts following the experience of a husband who normally snuggles with me during movies, all of a sudden not even wanting to sit near me. I ended the evening in sadness and feeling a bit alone. But through my sleep and waking in the morning I came to think I had the wrong idea of what romance is.

Yes, romance is everything exemplified in movies and books, it is everything that Webster
explains in the official definition. I have in all reality fooled myself and have lived a naive life, a silly girl expecting a knight in shining armor holding a dozen long stemmed roses and riding a most beautiful stallion to come and rescue me from this wicked world.

Romance is so much more than that and it is humiliating to admit that it has taken me the great number of years that it has to come to this realization. I believe true romance to be when my husband and I are in the car and then out of no where I realize he has been holding my hand and I wonder, "when did he do that?"; when I peak in on him and see him curled up with our girls and he is reading them a story or just have a good ol' tickle fight; when my husband asks me what I want him to make us for dinner; when my husband says "give me a list, what would you like me to do today" with out me even ever dropping hints; when he actually gives me a kiss hello or good bye (he is not a believer in PDA, even at home!); when he sits by me in church and holds my hand; when I over hear him speaking kind words about me to his family; when he grabs me in the kitchen and starts twirling me around making our girls giggle as we dance around our kitchen. The list just goes on and on.

So, now that I have matured I admit, my husband is the most romantic man alive. He is my knight in khaki pants and plaid shirt, driving a tiny Suzuki Aerio, carrying a 50 pound backpack full of mind boggling books of physics, chemistry, and icky math, and he DROPS everything to hold me and say "I missed you today". And in all reality if I were to ever write a story about our love story, I would have to admit that it would be quite romantic. Who knows maybe someday I will.